I like MY list of 'new' Summer Olympic events BETTER than the 'real' ones.
They should ONLY add Karate if it is all-out full-contact 'gladiator-style' combat karate.
Otherwise they should add EFFIN' Kikk-Boxin' !

If I could eliminate ONE event/sport from the Summer or Winter games it would be the complete BAN of candy-a$$ed Figure Skating. That crap just plain SUCKS dog poop.

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When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !

I DO like a couple of Jeffy's ideas for events:

Pogo-Stik Tightrope- that would be hilarious if the rope is at LEAST 30ft above the ground and NO safety-net exists. Those stupid enough to try it would get a self-induced concrete-sandwich if they miss, which would be a riot and a fine way to weed out idiots.

Durian Chucking- this would have to be modified to Durian-Halve chucking. An un-opened Durian does NOT have anywhere near the REEK of an opened one, and there is no guarantee an un-opened Durian will bust-open/splat if it is not 'manually opened'. Thusly this event will have the Durians cut in half, ensuring a nauseating REEK that is satisfyingly SPLATTED all over the site where it lands.

I would STILL like to see Dodge-Ball played with BOWLING or BILLIARD BALLS for real.
The thumpings that would ensue for those stupid enough to participate (and I'm sure there would be plenty of volunteers) would be HILARIOUS. Then again I think for what professional athletes make in Football, Basketball, and Baseball the rules should be re-written to increase the danger to include real threat to life and limb every single play. For what those clowns make we should get to see genuine gladiator combat.

Another good event to add would be called "Ride The Boot" which would be a two-person team event consisting of a "BootER and a BootEE" which the two would alternate roles for two 'kicks' each.
The BootER would don a large "Simpson's Bart's Booting" size Boot on their dominant foot and the BootEE would BEND OVER to get kicked squarely in the clothing-optional BUTT ! The team with the longest additive distance the BootEE flies after four rounds would be the winner. This event would be for WOMEN ONLY as I as the inventor of this event declare that's the ONLY bent-over BUTTS I ever want to see. ABSOLUTELY NO Lard-BUTT Wide-Load placard-required Women would be allowed.

Call me old-school but this pop-psychology nonsense that all "body shapes" should be embraced is disgusting and pure crap..

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When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !

I'm not much on pro baseball, but do enjoy Little League and Women's Softball.

As far as figure skating goes, agree on the women's. Dorothy Hamill is still a favorite
from the '70s and looks great at 60.

Don't much care for the X-Game stuff, snow boarding, skateboarding etc. in the Olympics.
To me it's an invasion of adults on kids' vehicles. What's next, cross-country scooter?

Bob

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illegitimi non carborundum

NAR# 54643 L-1

SAM# 043

AMA# 157091

VRCS# 154

A&P# 42x xx xxxx.

Umm , Motocross hover boards, 2 mile course.

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Enjoy life, it has an expiration date.

I REALLY DO like the X-Games stuff and would rather watch THAT than most mainstream pro-sports, especially the freestyle MX stuff. They have riders doing double FRONT-flips on full-sized supercross-type motorcycles during the best trick competitions. Amazing. I'd rather see that over ANY home-run, touchdown, or slam-dunk.
Then again I'd rather see ANY 300-game Bowled than tha Super Bowl featuring two non-local teams I could not give a rat's butt about that they keep watering the violence down on to protect the over-paid candy-a$$es. I'd go back to watching football regularly if they would bring back the rules of the 1950's where you could roll-block, leg-whip, and smash into all players un-abated for pretty much ANY reason. For what they are paid, I want to see unfettered violent MAYHEM. As the $$$ goes UP, so should the RISK/VIOLENCE.

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When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !

Exactly.... someone mentioned "skateboarding" above... I say "facepalm" to that...

cross-country scooter-- don't give them any ideas...

Later! OL J R

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The X-87B Cruise Basselope-- THE Ultimate Weapon in the arsenal of Homeland Security and only $52 million per round!

I'd like to see Dodgeball, Volleyball, Kickball, Tetherball, and Soccer all played with BOWLING BALLS. Medicine-Ball Dodgeball would be good too. Jousting on horseback with REAL MEDIEVAL non-breakaway Jousting Poles would be a winner too. None of those sissy breakaway poles seen in Renaissance festivals. Real Gladiator Combat MAYHEM.

No-holds-barred MMA that allows MAGNUM-VELOCITY HAIR-YANKS, HEAD-BUTTS, EAR-CLOPS, and KICKING/STOMPING opponents while they are DOWN in real-street-fight style would be a MAJOR RATINGS GENERATOR too. People LIKE to watch MAYHEM.

Obviously I'm joking but some of the events are no less ridiculous.

__________________
When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !

CLIPPING in all Football should be legal too.
Blindside blocks to the back adds real flavor.
Would require real situational awareness if defenders could get BLASTED from ANY angle.

__________________
When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !

With the combination of the "pandemic" and "woke" culture taking over sports, I think it's time for all "organized sports" to come to an end . . . Let them all get "real jobs" !

Dave F.

For the money the pro-sports "Meatheads"make in the "big 4" sports, there should be "gladiator level" combat involved and not the emphasis on weenie mamby-pamby safety.
NASCAR should be the same way. If somebody wants to run a no-roll-cage open-wheel nightmare to save weight it should be their purview. Instead of the motorcycle " all of the gear all of the time" mantra toward safety, it's NONE of the gear ALL of the time toward safety.
Slows ya down, ya know.
Event Insurance ? No problem... There is NONE.

__________________
When in doubt, WHACK the GAS and DITCH the brake !!!

Yes, there is such a thing as NORMAL, if you have to ask what is "NORMAL" , you probably aren't !
Failure may not be an OPTION, but it is ALWAYS a POSSIBILITY.
ALL systems are GO for MAYHEM, CHAOS, TURMOIL, FIASCOS, and HAVOC !