"Mommy. Mommy, can I lick the bowl?"

"No, you flush like everyone else."

My older cousin came over to dinner with his family one night and told my brother and I dozens of these. I'd forgotten them until now.

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Bill Eichelberger
NAR 79563

http://wallyum.blogspot.com/

I miss being SAM 0058

Build floor: Centuri Mini Dactyl Estes - Low Boom SST Semroc - Marauder, Shrike, SST Shuttle

In paint: Canaroc Starfighter Scorpion Estes F-22 Air Superiority Fighter, Multi-Roc, Solar Sailer II Semroc Cyber III

Ready to fly: Estes - Solar Sailer II Semroc - Earmark, Groonie Der V 1/2

Well, the punch line is "Leroy, you're a (female body part)"

__________________
Bill Eichelberger
NAR 79563

http://wallyum.blogspot.com/

I miss being SAM 0058

Build floor: Centuri Mini Dactyl Estes - Low Boom SST Semroc - Marauder, Shrike, SST Shuttle

In paint: Canaroc Starfighter Scorpion Estes F-22 Air Superiority Fighter, Multi-Roc, Solar Sailer II Semroc Cyber III

Ready to fly: Estes - Solar Sailer II Semroc - Earmark, Groonie Der V 1/2

Perhaps the first ‘Little Johny’ joke. The way I remember it.
Five year old Johny, a high spirited young boy, all morning has been pushing his mother to her limit.
It seems that every mess she cleans up is offset by his new activities.
Finally, in desperation, she suggests, “Johny, It’s a beautiful morning, why don’t you go down to where they’re building the new house on the corner. Maybe you can learn something about construction.”
“O.K. Mommy”
“Just remember, stay out of the workers way and be home in time for lunch.”
“O.K. Mommy”
Time passes, the young mother straightens the house and fixes a nice lunch to share with her son.

Well, Johny comes home at lunchtime and his now calmed down mother greets him with a soup and sandwich.
“Well Johny, did you have fun? Did you learn anything?”
“Yeah Mommy, look.”
Holding his arm out straight with his thumb upright he says “Move it over a pussy hair.”
Shocked, his mother says “Johny, you know we don’t allow language like that in this house. Now go to the closet and bring me a switch.
Johny: “Like hell I will, I ain’t no ****ing electrician.”

What? No lawyer jokes yet?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance

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Two lawyers are walking down the street and they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. The first lawyer says, "See that woman? Boy would I love to screw her." The second lawyer says, "Out of what?".

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How many lawyers does it take to shingle a house?

Depends on how thin you slice them!

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Why is a slinky like a lawyer?

Neither is very useful, but both can bring a smile to your face while falling down the stairs!

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road, and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks by the dog!

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road, and a dead lawyer in the road?

Vultures will eat the skunk!

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a lawyer in a three piece suit.

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

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(slightly dated)

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea!

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Your honor!

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I'm here all week :-(

__________________
I fought the law, and the law LOST!

If you have the time and inclination, would you mind PM'ing that joke to me? I don't recognize the punch line.

__________________
John Thro, NAR #84553 SR
I was too old when I started! Now I'll *never* become a BAR!

Yikes. Probably not even on this lightly-moderated forum. Anyone who doesn't know that joke and isn't likely to be offended can go to Wikipedia and look it up.


That's debatable.

__________________
John Thro, NAR #84553 SR
I was too old when I started! Now I'll *never* become a BAR!

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through the San Diego Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

__________________
Trash Can Rocketry

What do you call a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?


A good start...

I call it the pollution of the maritime environment.

__________________
John A. Lee O.S.L.
Alamo Rocketeers NAR Section 661
NAR 87285, L1 8 March 2008
TRA 03040, L1 8 March 2008
Photos of the "Fleet": http://www.flickr.com/photos/23694991@N03/

I used to tell Mom, "...I want to fly rockets when I grow up!"

She said, "Make up your mind, you can't do both!"

It's not just A joke but endless interpretations with the same "punchline".


Let's see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzlAfLNcplg